I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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