I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
