wanna go halves on a baby?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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