So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
