they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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