There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
