butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
