so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
