Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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