Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
