I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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