I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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