So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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