How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
