that's an acceptable place to lick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
