the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
