Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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