So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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