Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
