just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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