The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
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So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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