Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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