I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
