is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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