Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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