Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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