u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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