then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
