my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
