you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You don't make any sense
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