He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
