She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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