Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
