we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
