Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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