So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
