When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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