Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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