after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
