i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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