and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
