Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
