his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
