DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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