my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
