Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
