My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think my vagina is haunted
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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