Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
