I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize