I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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