Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
COCAINE IS GR8
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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