i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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