my soul wont recognize me after tonight
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize