hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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