Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
