Nicole vs. Life
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
