If i come over, it means nothing
I CAN MOONWALK!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
