I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
