Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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