why didn't you poke me back
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
