Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
