if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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