Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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