I wish I could punch you in the face.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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