Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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