I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
