Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
