Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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