life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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