he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
